IFS and Psychodynamic Therapy: How Parts Work Heals the Emotional Past
In my work with clients, I often hear some version of this question: "Why do I keep doing this, even though I know better?" Maybe you freeze up in conflict, talk yourself out of sharing a need, or feel overtaken by shame or self-criticism in moments that catch you off guard. It can feel like something is wrong with you—like you’re fractured or flawed.
But what if those reactions weren’t dysfunctions at all? What if they were protective strategies shaped by your past—parts of you that learned, long ago, how to keep you safe in a world that didn’t always feel safe?
In this post, I want to explore two powerful therapeutic approaches: Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) and psychodynamic therapy. Though they come from different traditions, both models are rooted in the belief that healing begins with curiosity and compassion. They help us understand that your emotional struggles are not signs of brokenness—they’re signals from inner parts that have carried your pain for far too long.
This post also draws inspiration from a powerful conversation between Dr. Richard Schwartz and Dr. Andrew Huberman on the Huberman Lab Podcast. Their dialogue highlights the transformative potential of parts work therapy—a therapeutic process of engaging with different aspects of your personality, each with its own perspective, role, and emotional history.
The Voice in Your Head Isn’t Crazy: A Look at Internal FaMily SysteMs Therapy
You’re about to speak up, ask for something, or try something new—and suddenly, a voice pops up:
"Don’t do it. You’ll mess it up. You’re too much. They’ll leave."
It can feel irrational. Harsh. But it’s not random.
What if that voice is a younger part of you, doing everything it can to protect you from pain you once couldn’t bear?
Most of us try to silence those parts. But in both IFS and psychodynamic work, we pause and turn toward them with interest. What are they afraid of? What are they trying to protect?
As Schwartz explains in the podcast, many of these parts form in childhood during moments when we felt overwhelmed, alone, or shamed. These parts take on extreme roles in an effort to protect us, even if their methods now cause pain. He offers the example of a suicidal part that, when engaged with compassion, revealed it was trying to save the client from unbearable shame—not cause harm. This is the heart of parts work therapy: understanding that all parts are doing the best they can with what they know (Huberman Lab Podcast).
The Parts We Carry: How PsychodynaMic Therapy and IFS Address EMotional Wounds
We often think we’re reacting to the present—but so many of our emotional responses are shaped by the past. Both IFS therapy and psychodynamic therapy help us see how the relationships we had early in life still echo within us.
One of the most grounding ideas I share with clients is this:
You’re not just one "self." You’re made up of many inner voices, each shaped by relationships and experiences.
In Internal Family Systems therapy, we call these voices parts — some critical, some fearful, some avoidant. In psychodynamic therapy, we understand them as internalized relationships or "objects"—a concept drawn from object relations theory, a foundational branch of psychodynamic thinking. Object relations theory suggests that our early experiences with caregivers become internal mental representations—'objects'—that influence how we relate to others and how we see ourselves. These internalized patterns often operate beneath conscious awareness and shape emotional responses throughout life.
That harsh inner critic that shuts you down? It might be echoing a voice you heard growing up—a parent, teacher, or peer who once made vulnerability feel dangerous. And that frozen feeling in conflict? It could be a loyal, protective part of you that learned to go quiet in order to avoid emotional harm. These reactions aren't flaws—they're survival strategies.
According to object relations theory, we internalize early caregivers as mental "objects" that shape our self-image and emotional patterns. These internalized relational experiences are encoded in the brain's memory and emotional systems, influencing our sense of self and how we relate to others, as outlined in a 2021 review by Svrakic and Zorumski in Frontiers in Psychology (PMC). Similarly, IFS founder Richard Schwartz explains that every part carries burdens from the past—and these burdens can be released when the part is heard, not judged (IFS Institute).
Healing Through Curiosity, Not Control: The Shared Spirit of IFS and PsychodynaMic Therapy
In a culture that celebrates grit, pushing through, and reframing the negative, it can feel counterintuitive to pause and listen to the very thing we want to get rid of. But IFS therapy and psychodynamic therapy invite us to do just that. Get curious. That part of you is doing its best. Let’s find out why it’s here.
Both approaches ask:
What happened to you that required this part of you to take over?
How is this part trying to protect you, even if it hurts you in the process?
In parts work, the goal is to access the Self—your calm, compassionate internal leader—and build a trusting relationship with each part. In psychodynamic therapy, the therapist helps surface unconscious emotional patterns and early relational wounds, bringing hidden stories into the light.
Even though the language is different, the invitation is the same: to stop fighting yourself and begin to understand what you carry.
FroM Object Relations to Parts Work: Different Language, Shared WisdoM
Imagine you’re in a relationship and your partner forgets to respond to a text. A flood of emotion hits—panic, anger, the urge to withdraw. A part of you might say, "They’re losing interest. You’re too much." Another part might say, "Don’t show it—act like you don’t care."
In Internal Family Systems therapy, we’d see this as a blend of protective parts stepping in. In psychodynamic therapy, we might trace the reaction to an early internalized experience—maybe a caregiver who was inconsistent or emotionally unavailable. Different language, same insight: what's happening now is tied to what happened then.
Object relations theory proposes that we internalize early caregivers as psychic templates that influence how we see ourselves and relate to others. These "objects" become internal voices: the scolding father, the absent mother, the overly demanding teacher (PMC).
IFS therapy offers a more direct way of working with those voices. Rather than analyzing them, we get to know them. We learn how they came to be. We witness what they’re protecting. And slowly, they begin to soften.
Both theories agree: the people we’ve loved, feared, and depended on live inside us. Until we understand them, we repeat them.
You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself to Heal
When we ignore these internal parts, they often get louder. They fight, shut us down, or pull us back into old patterns. No amount of behavior change will work if we’re still carrying unspoken fear, shame, or grief.
In IFS parts work, healing happens when parts are seen, heard, and unburdened. In psychodynamic therapy, healing emerges when unconscious patterns become conscious, and the self is strengthened through relational repair and emotional insight.
As psychologist Golan Shahar notes in his 2021 article in Frontiers in Psychology, object relations theory and psychodynamic therapy remain highly relevant because they help explain how early relational experiences can shape patterns of depression, self-worth, and emotional pain well into adulthood (PMC).
Final Reflection: You’re Not Broken—You’re Burdened
What if you didn’t have to get rid of your anxiety, shame, or inner critic?
What if those parts just needed you—the calm, compassionate Self—to finally listen?
You’re not broken. You’re made of many parts, doing their best to keep you safe. And when you meet them with curiosity, not control—healing begins.
If this resonates with you, therapy can offer a space to get to know your inner world more deeply—with compassion, not judgment. You don’t have to do this work alone.
If you're ready to begin your journey toward self-awareness and emotional healing, we’re here to help. At Brentwood Therapy Collective, our team of compassionate, experienced therapists offers both in-person sessions in Los Angeles and virtual therapy for clients throughout California.
Schedule your free consultation today and take the first step toward a more connected, grounded life.
